Toddlers are humbling, y’all.

by Katie on January 16, 2015

Several weeks ago, my sweet, innocent toddler daughter gently reminded me why we go to the gym.

Please remember, for the sake of the majority of this post, that we are recently potty trained around here. Which, consequently, opens up a whole new world of “potty talk” with toddlers.

So, unsurprisingly, out of the blue one day, Leyton began walking through the kitchen announcing, “I have bottom, Mama! I have bottom!”

“Yes, you do have a bottom,” I said, because have you ever tried not acknowledging something a toddler is trying to announce to the world? Not recommended.

And then she walked over near me, looked me in the face, and ever-so-sweetly said, “Mama have bottom. Mama have BIIIIG bottom. Mama have BIIIIIG bottom.”

Lovely.

But honestly, I’m just praying she saves those comments for Mama, rather than strangers we pass in the store. Which brings us to our next story…

A couple weeks ago, Leyton and I ran into Staples to pick up her birthday party invitations that had been printed. Of course, the line at the print center was about five people deep when we walked in, and only grew behind us. Have you ever tried entertaining an energetic toddler while standing in line at an office supply store? Again, not recommended.

After letting her “go fast” back and forth between me and the nearest copy machine a few times, it was time for her to settle down a bit as the traffic grew in the area. At one point, I resorted to picking her up and letting her drop her head upside down. Over. And over. And over again. For some crazy reason, she has always loved going upside down. I am not complaining, because in that moment of desperation…it worked. Eventually, she got a little bored with that, and sat up facing me in my arms. Then, she began unzipping the light jacket I was wearing. She quietly zipped it up and down a few times, which was fine. And then, she unzipped it some, buried her head down in it, and shouted, “What’s in there, Mama!? What’s in there!?”

Did I mention there were plenty of people within earshot?

So that was awesome.

But she had to top it.

A few minutes later, while we were still in line, an older gentlemen with an unkempt grey beard walked in the door. Now, he was dressed like he may have just stepped off his Harley outside, in jeans and a black biker tshirt, but Leyton didn’t take that into account before excitedly announcing – and pointing – “Santa! Mama, Santa here!”

On the bright side, we kept the wait rather enjoyable and entertaining for the doting middle-aged woman in line behind us.

As if all this weren’t enough for one month, I must also mention the not one, but TWO instances where our girl decided she would take up streaking and proceeded to drop her pants in the middle of two different eating establishments (once at the little cafe in town a few weeks ago, once at Chic-fil-A earlier this week). Again, I blame potty training.

And then, of course, there was this past weekend. I took Leyton to the local donut shop after church. We have to do our part to keep them in business, since Daddy is a donut lover and claims theirs are the best. So I somewhat-regularly buy donuts for Brandon and Leyton to enjoy (see above “big bottom” comments – which is what Mama would quickly have if she chose to partake in the donut consumption).

It was quite the idyllic scene for awhile, actually. Cute girl, all dressed for church. Doting mother snapping a picture or two. Sprinkle donut. Sticky toddler fingers.

And then, out of nowhere, Leyton sat her donut on the table, looked at me, and screamed. Like, just for the heck of it. Testing out her lungs or something. Have you ever been to a donut shop at 10am on a Sunday? Not the lightest crowd you can imagine.

She didn’t just stop with one scream though. Oh no. She would pause a couple seconds, scream, pause, scream. You get the picture. And I couldn’t get her to stop. After the third one, I glanced around behind us to take full inventory of how many people were watching all this go down. The young boy whose parents own the donut shop had come out from the back, and was staring blankly at us. Probably wondering what in the world was wrong with this screaming girl with a donut sitting in front of her. Naturally, I turned around, stuffed the remaining donut back in the bag, and carried my screaming little princess to the car.

But, I did get this super sweet picture at the beginning of our donut adventure: Donuts with Leyton

 

It’s a very good thing toddlers are cute, y’all. Because they sure are humbling. Especially in public. But I wouldn’t trade that sweet face for any amount of embarrassment.

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