When a husband just knows

by Katie on February 8, 2012

Last week was one of those busy farm times that just feels like it chews you up and spits you back out. We both spent every day either running around tending to things or sitting on a tractor (both our employees had their hands full with irrigating). Like the kind of running around where you’re busy all day long, but can’t quite put your finger on what you actually accomplished. Unless, of course, it was a tractor day. Then it was quite clear what you did and did not accomplish.

On top of the farm craziness, we ended up with quite a few social commitments. Which is not standard. Typically, we’re hermits. Not necessarily intentionally, it’s just that after you’ve run around taking care of business all day, and get a full belly at supper, you just want to crawl in bed (or we do, anyway).

So, in the middle of all this, we got a (pleasantly) unexpected house guest. Now, anyone who knows us well knows we always have at least two construction projects going on around here, ranging in scale from minor to major. Our guest/hall bath has been in a constant state of repair for the better part of a year-and-a-half now. Luckily, it now registers on the “minor” scale, but under construction nonetheless.

Because of this, the tub/shower were full of construction debris and unusable. The second night we had a guest, I had to cancel on one of my social commitments at the last minute because a farm job came up Brandon needed help with, and all that led to a half hour of spare time with which to muck out the shower and make a trip to the grocery store to replace the three items on my receipt that did not make it to my truck (on a day when I hardly had time to go the first time, of course).

While I was scrubbing, Brandon helped fix some drainage issues and check the amount of electricity in the water from the faucet (because that’s always an issue at our house). He finished up, and realized I still had quite a bit of scrubbing to do and was stressing about the whole grocery store thing because I knew I had to be on a tractor for the next two days, and how many days do you have before they won’t take your word on replacing grocery items that didn’t get back in your cart?

So, being the good husband he is, he placed both hands on my shoulders, looked in my eyes, and said, very gently, “Would it help if I went to the grocery store for you?”

And I lit up. Gushed all over him. “Actually, that would be the most amazing thing. The receipt’s in the—”

But I was cut off.

“We’re not on the same page,” he said. “You know how sometimes a husband will ask his wife about doing something to help out because he—”

And I got all glum again. “Because you’re hoping I won’t really say yes to it,” I interrupted.

“No, not even hoping,” he said, “Because he just knows that she will not agree to it. That he gets points for showing empathy and offering, but then she says, ‘No, it’s okay. I’ll do it. But thanks.’ Yeah…that’s where I saw this going.”

“So, just to be clear,” he continued, “I love you. I mean, I really love you. A lot. …But I’m not going to the grocery store for you.”

Then he offered a giant hug, we both laughed, and he left me to my scrubbing.



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