Rolling in my grave

by Katie on November 2, 2011

We just wrapped up Halloween, right?

Well, the Leisters…make that just one Leister…is still celebrating. One cupcake at a time.

You see, I dropped in Sam’s Club last week for some essentials, when all the Halloween hype was at full force.

Before I even went in, I had already thought about the holiday cupcakes that were probably on display, imagining I would pick up a small order. (This is important to note, so you know none of this was based on an impulse purchase decision.) After all, we weren’t doing anything else festive. We could celebrate with a cupcake (or three) each.

I don’t know what it is, but Sam’s Club bakeries know what’s up. Really. For the price, you can’t beat ’em. A big plus in my book is they all use real frosting – not that fake cool whip stuff.

So yeah, I was already walking in the store with visions of cupcakes in my head, before I even saw the wondrous display on Halloween cupcakes sitting center stage in the middle of the store.

I was on a mission, so I made my mind up that I would, indeed, be purchasing a few cupcakes on my way out. So, I continued my shopping expedition, and eventually wound up back at the cupcake display, ready to pick out my box.

The problem? (As with many Sam’s Club purchases…) The only boxes on the table contained 30 cupcakes. Thirty. Way too many. But instead of laying my cupcake dreams aside like a good girl, I shuffled off to the bakery section in the back to see if any smaller boxes of festive cupcakes were available.

I imagine I probably looked like a mad woman, scouring every nook of that bakery section for some cupcakes. I was on a mission.

But luck was not on my side. Defeated, I slowly made my way back to the front of the store…toward the register…right past my cupcake display.

During this little march, I worked really hard to conjure up in my head all sorts of reasons why taking home thirty cupcakes wasn’t that bad of an idea. I reminded myself that when I make cupcakes at home, in batches of 24, it takes Brandon 2.5 days to consume every last one of them. By himself. So if I even wanted one cupcake to myself within a three day span, thirty couldn’t be that bad, right? Also, it’s Halloween. Who doesn’t have too much in the candy and sweets department during Halloween? And we know people with kids. We have neighbors and friends with plenty of kiddos we could dish out cupcakes to, as a “Happy Halloween” treat.

And…done. Enter me.

Thirty cupcakes in my shopping basket.

Now, I just had to prepare myself for the wrath of my husband, upon his discovery of my cupcake edition of hoarders. I had all my excuses and justifications ready, at the tip of my tongue, for the moment he discovered the cupcake loot.

I mean, we’ve been together long enough for me to know I was not going to escape this without some sort of commentary.

Sure enough, he zeroed in on the cupcakes as soon as he walked in the door later. “Katie, thirty cupcakes? Thirty? What are we going to do with thirty cupcakes?” [All this as he retrieved one from the box and took a bite, I might add.]

“Well, you’re already eating them. And usually you eat cupcakes really fast. You can finish 24 in just a couple days.”

“Sometimes. But these aren’t that good.”

“What are you talking about? They’re Sam’s Club. They’re the best!”

“No, really. They aren’t that good. I don’t like the frosting.”

“The frosting!?” I exclaimed with a gasp, quite taken aback, “That’s the best part!”

“I can’t believe you really bought thirty cupcakes. What are we going to do with them?”

So I proceeded to rattle off my list, and informed him I had already arranged to take a couple to the neighbor kids.

“Katie, you realize you used all our friends’ kids as justification for buying thirty cupcakes, right?”

“Maybe just a little…”

Then he went into the fact I actually paid money for baked goods – something he had never experienced in his five years of knowing me. And, he really got me with this zinger at the end:  “The Katie I married would be rolling in her grave right now.”

…There was no arguing with that. It was true.

And now? I have a dozen Halloween cupcakes in the freezer, and I’m pulling out one a day. I think my holiday weight may hit before Thanksgiving this year. All because of my obsession with Sam’s Club holiday cupcakes. Thirty of them. I think I’ll avoid the place at Christmas.


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