Signs of adulthood: Swimsuit edition

by Katie on July 11, 2011

Brandon’s parents have this annual little Fourth of July gathering where we eat way too much good food, enjoy a few adult beverages and take a dip in the pool. Much like any and every other Fourth of July celebration.

A small dilemma arose at our house this year, just a week or two prior to the little friends and family gathering. I realized I owned nary a swimsuit that was, shall we say…”family friendly” in the hindquarter region. Translation:  there was a little, okay, more than a little, peek-a-boo cheek action going on back there. Also known as:  becoming a woman.

I quickly realized I had two options for attending the party:

  1. Find some way to purchase a new swimsuit with a bit fuller coverage in the backend.
  2. Not plan on swimming. On the Fourth of July. In Arizona.

As you can see, Option Two wasn’t much of an option.

The only problem with Option One was we were really busy, so I didn’t exactly have much leisure time on my hands to be engaging in swimsuit shopping. Finally, the day before the shindig, I found exactly 37 minutes (between a couple of water changes) to spend in the Walmart just up the road (five minutes from our house), desperately searching the picked-over racks of swimwear.

I had mentioned to Brandon before I left that I was really feeling like it was time to transition into the one-piece. I mean, I long ago landed my guy, and recently crossed over to the 30 side of 20. It was time. Being a man, he was less than enthused.

So, since I am a good wife, after I had located a winner of a one-piece (cute, full coverage, with one left, in my size = the ultimate shopping score, especially at a Walmart), I made a second scan of the racks for a potentially flattering two-piece. And off to the dressing rooms I went.

The one-piece was affirmed. It was flattering, boasting ample coverage in the hindquarter, and was topped off with ruching through the midsection and a little flap of fabric that reached past the bikini area. Sold.

[I probably did an awful job with that description, but trust me on this one. When I showed Brandon my purchases later, after listening to him groan about the fact a one-piece was included, his exact comment was, “For a big girl suit, I am pleasantly surprised. It actually does look good and not as granny-like as I had pictured.”]

The two-piece required a bit more decision making. The top looked great. I went with basic black, which gave me about six different options for the bottom, only two of which I would actually try.

There was the regular bikini bottom:  It had more coverage than the four suits I had at home (ranging in purchase date from 2003 to 2008, mind you), but not quite as much as I was looking for. But the top looked fantastic…which is what I kept going back to. Then I found a bottom that had a little skirt flap sewn over it. Bingo!

The problem? It was a size smaller than I would typically buy. For something where I was trying to find more-than-normal coverage. I tried it anyway. I thought it looked fine, but decided I needed a second opinion. So I bought all pieces mentioned above and headed home. I mean, it’s Walmart, right? Return it.

That evening, I insisted upon displaying my purchases for Brandon. He obliged. He agreed on the flattering two-piece top. So then I went back and forth on the two bottom selections, ending in the one with a skirt.

Brandon:  “The first one looked fine. But this one does too. It just has a little ‘old lady’ effect.”

Katie:  “I’m okay with that.”

Brandon:  “Go with this one then.”

And so it was decided:  I have officially entered the ‘swimsuit skirt’ season of my life.


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