New Brandon still reigns…sort of

by Katie on June 3, 2011

A few weeks ago, I shared how I now live with “New Brandon.”

And really, for the most part, I have been shocked at mealtime when New Brandon continues to join me at the table. The portions have remained consistently smaller, and a new “it’s okay to put something back” mentality has replaced the old “must eat every bite at all costs” one. All in all, I commend him on a job well done.

With one exception, that is:

Ice cream binging.

A few days ago, I was making coffee in the kitchen when Brandon returned from the laundry room freezer. With a Blue Bell Great Divide ice cream bar in hand.

I mentioned I was making coffee, right? I mean, this had to be somewhere around 6am.

He walks in proudly with his ice cream bar, and announces it is his second of the day. Second ice cream bar. 6am. That’s all I’m sayin’.

You see, he had helped his dad with some baling during the night and had retrieved an ice cream bar when he left the house in the wee morning hours. And, since he had already been up for a while, thought a second one was in order.

But that’s not all.

Somewhere around 3pm, he stopped by the house for some paperwork and a snack. A snack consisting of fresh peaches plucked from our tree and Blue Bell Vanilla Bean ice cream. An “Old Brandon” serving of vanilla bean ice cream.

Up the ice cream tally to three servings. And that’s conservative, y’all. It real serving sizes, that bowl of vanilla bean counted more like three.

And yet, there was more ice cream in store for Brandon’s day.

After supper that night, he enjoyed a third Great Divide bar.

No joke. Most women I know want to throw rotten eggs at him right now.

Fast forward a few days of the ice cream binge and Brandon is trying to gauge his progression into New Brandon status. I assure him he is doing well with meals, but remind him about his ice cream. I rate that day “F”.

So he says, “Yeah, but I didn’t eat any the three days before that, so really it all averages out to one ice cream a day. Even New Brandon gets one ice cream a day.”

Apparently we’re “averaging” our food portions around here now. Alright then.


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