When your Gatorade is gay

by Katie on August 13, 2010

Brandon likes to drink Gatorade, especially on hunting trips and during the summer months when he’s working. But, the stuff can get pricey, so we don’t buy it that much.

We hit a sale at the grocery store in Colorado and stocked up on some. Brandon ended up picking out seven big bottles, and I got three. Which seems like he definitely got his fair share, right?

All three of mine were the “Lo-Cal” kind — not due to any health factors, just because the flavor of the regular kind is too strong for me, and the Lo-Cal isn’t as intense. One of my Lo-Cal Gatorades was a new flavor called Blueberry-Pomegranate.

Of course, Brandon made a big stinkin’ deal out of my Lo-Cal choice, claiming it was “the gay Gatorade.” I was actually pleased by this, because surely he wouldn’t be drinking anything he said was gay. Add the Blueberry-Pomegranate flavor on top of the Lo-Cal gay factor, and you’re looking at a pretty gay bottle of Gatorade, right? In his opinion, anyway. (Let’s forget the Orange Jasmine Passionfruit green tea he drinks.)

Fast forward a few days, and I open the refrigerator to find half my bottle of gay Gatorade is gone. I question him on it later – mainly about the simple fact he had more than twice as many Gatorades as I did to begin with.

And I end with, “I thought you said my Gatorade was gay, anyway?”

“It’s still gay,” he said. “But I’m a man.”

As if that explained things.


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