The many hats of a farmer

by Katie on December 7, 2009

As Brandon headed out the door this morning, he picked up his “work hat” and said, “I need a new work hat. This one’s done.”
To which I was very grateful. The hat was months past being wearable in public.
I assumed he would simply walk into our room, pick up one of the 32 hats in there, and be on his merry little way. Not the case.
He did go to the bedroom, but I heard him say, “I don’t have another hat to wear. I need to get a new one.”
To which I immediately jumped up and ran back there to set him straight help him.
“Noooo, nooo, no. Don’t you even think about it Brandon Leister. Are you really telling me you can’t wear a single hat in this house to work? We’re going to find you one.”
And I was insistent on this due to the following hat situation in our home.
The wall in the Hunting Room:
The “nice hats” hanging next to the door in our bedroom (partially over our bed, mind you):
The hat rack between Brandon’s two dressers (Yes. Two. Just for him. Someday we’ll have to go through the whole closet space breakdown in our house.):
There are 11 ball caps on that rack, y’all.
Even these photographs leave out the two probably floating around our house somewhere, three on the dash of his truck, and one he left at his parents’.
No way was I letting him leave the house in search of a “new” work hat. While we were sifting through his hats, he found a few more “old work hats” he was finally willing to part with.
So we ended up with a grand total of four hats to be thrown away:
I told him, “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this day. This is great!”
One of the suggestions I had for a work hat was turned down.
Me: “You know you’re never going to wear it anywhere else. Why not just wear it to work and ruin it?”
Him: “Because I gave one just like it to [former employee] and it was his dunce hat. I’m not wearing it.”
Me: “Well, can we at least drop some of these off at Goodwill then, if you never have intentions of wearing them?”
Him: “No, not yet.”
He finally found one suitable and placed it on his head.
He said, “I always liked the look of this hat, but it seemed like it sat funny on my head. Like up too high or something.”
I quickly assured him it looked just fine.
Before he left, he said, “You know, this is a big day for me. Parting with these prized possessions.”
I made sure to holler out the door behind him, “You know, now that you mention it, that hat does look a little funny on your head. Have a good day!”

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