The elk that stops all pain

by Katie on September 8, 2009

Sunday morning, Brandon rolled over to catch the time when I got out of bed. Or that was the plan anyway. Somewhere mid-roll, he says he heard a, quote, “Crack, pop, rip, tear, crack,” and he couldn’t move afterward.

I returned to the room to find him immobile, other than his eyes darting across the room. He was supposed to drive a tractor that day, but quickly figured out that was not going to happen. He slowly and painfully removed himself from the bed and we put away some jerky we left in the dehydrator overnight.

About every third step he would take in the kitchen, I would hear an, “Aahhhh!” or a “Oouuu!” or an “Arrrggh!” or a whimper. He was in some serious pain. He soon resolved to going back to bed.

After ten minutes of getting him arranged in bed with pillows so his entire body was angled just right and he wouldn’t have to move at all for the next four hours, he asked for the laptop.

But our Internet had gone out a day or two before. I then suggested, and I should get big points for this I might add, that he watch an elk DVD or two.

Because, after all, he has this elk hunt coming up, right. Not just any elk hunt. One of Arizona’s premier elk hunts. It’s pretty much the only thing that’s been on his mind since the draw was announced in March.

Yes, it’s been a long summer for anyone who knows him. Six months of him walking up to you saying, “So I know this guy who drew a pretty bad elk tag…”

At this suggestion, he lit up and said, “That’s an excellent idea! A really good idea. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that!”

So, I retrieved his Extreme Bulls 2 and Extreme Bulls 4 DVDs for his viewing pleasure. I loaded one in the laptop for him, and we began making all the proper screen and pillow prop adjustments to get his head at the right angle for such serious movies.

This is where I almost collapsed in laughter. In fact, I really don’t know how I held it all in. But I knew the last thing my husband, in such pain and agony, would want is me laughing at him.

The previews for Extreme Bulls 4 were playing as we’re getting him adjusted. Even the slightest movement made Brandon holler out in pain. But each one of these yells would be interrupted by a comment about a bull on the screen. So this is how the next five minutes played out:

“Aaaahhhh – Look at that elk!”
“Ooowww – That elk is huge!”
“Aaahhh – Do you see that thing!”
“Aaarrrgh – Oh, look how big he is!”
“Ooowww – What does that thing score?!?”
“Aaahhh – That elk is huge!”

Seriously, the entire time. Until I pushed play on the movie and the hunting began. Apparently a massive bull elk can kill all sorts of pain.

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