Unwelcome guests

by Katie on May 8, 2009

I hate birds. All of them. Everything about them. Especially the feathers. Along with the constant chirping and surprises they leave behind everywhere marking their presence. 

That said, I am currently cohabiting with them. 
Four months ago, I woke up early one morning to an awful sound. Birds chirping. Loudly. I woke Brandon up and I was all, That bird has to be in our house. No way could it be that loud. And he, unfazed, said, “Yeah, it probably is. It’s happened before,” then rolls over to go back to sleep. 
I was not having it. “You mean you’re not going to go get the BIRD out of our HOUSE?”
So he begrudgingly drug himself out of bed to retrieve the bird. When he opened the door to our renovated (read: demolished) master bathroom, sure enough, there was one live bird flying around in there making all kinds of racket, and one dead bird on the ground (not making racket). He let the live bird out the window, and disposed of the dead bird. 
Then, just a couple months ago, I had a pigeon problem. Two pigeons sat in our laundry area (assuming our washer and dryer were connected) and went coo, coo. All day long. Not pleasant. And rather distracting when you’re trying to concentrate. 
I kept trying to shoot the pigeons with Brandon’s BB gun, but it’s so old and used you have to hold the thing together in two or three places while you try to shoot it. I never did get it to work. 
That’s when I requested the Red Rider BB gun my brother got for Christmas when he was six. They both think they’re much too old for BB guns now, so it was perfect. But my parents left it in Texas when they came to visit. 
Luckily, the pigeons have now moved on. Probably to our barn, judging by the bird population there. 
Just about a month ago, I complained politely mentioned to Brandon there were some scratching noises in our attic during the day. It sounded like little birds scurrying about over my head in the hallway. He’s used to me “hearing things” when I get scared at night, so he dismissed it. Told me I was crazy. Nothing up there, no sir. 
Well, fast forward to yesterday. 
Baby birds are hatching all over our house. 
I first noticed them through the air vent in the hallway. There must be a whole nest of them on top of the air vent. It’s that loud. Then, I was changing the sheets on our bed later that morning. More loud birds. I opened the door to the gutted bathroom. Sure enough, there’s a partial nest hanging out of the corner of the wall. IN OUR HOUSE. 
Brandon thinks the birds in the bathroom are okay. “Happens all the time,” he says, “No big deal.” He doesn’t really see that bathroom as “part of the house.” I, on the other hand, do not think it’s okay. 
When he learned about the birds near the air vent, he did show some concern, which made me feel a little better. I explained to him exactly where the loud chirping was coming from – you know, that place I was telling you a whole month ago had critters living in it? Remember that? That’s where the baby birds live now. 
He said, “Oh. That’s not good.” 
Then rolled over to take a nap. 
[He’s been working nights, so the “nap” was more his sleep for the day. But still. There are birds in our house.] 

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